Anachronistic Bourbon's Adventure [Pony in a Bizarre World]
System Used: A hack of Apocalypse World




There is a distant world. The sky, always black and starlit, have a sun and a moon - but no one of them can turn the black sky into blue. The land is vast, with seas, mountains and forests, but most of the surface is taken by deserts and wastelands. All covered in the coat of the eternal night, even when the sun is on the sky. But now is a proper night, with a full moon and all. But something with the shape of a pony can be seen in the deserted planet. Her name is Bourbon, and she is an explorer. A survivor, and also a chemist.

[Image: bourbon_the_explorer_by_alchemysugar-daa3is9.jpg]

Bourbon is walking through the endless, dark, blue, stone and dust desert of the planet. She is easily pulling a small cart, filled with all her belongings. Suddenly, she finds a small tent, which looks like a japanese food cart. It has even silk lanterns with strange kanji, that Bourbon cannot read. The chef is a teal, fat fish-like creature. "Greetings, traveler!" says the chef, "Welcome to Yazuru's food stand!" "Hello!" says Bourbon, taking off her goggles. "I'm bourbon. Oh my, I've been wandering around this desert for so many time, I even forgot how hungry I was. What do you have?"

Yazuru did put a variety of plates in front of Bourbon, all of them looking delicious. "I have ramen, yakisoba, sushi, sashimi, wasabi, anything!" said the chef, clapping his fins together. Bourbon turned her face, "It looks like all of the plates have meat, but ponies are herbivore." Then she thought for a moment, and said, "Maybe you can prepare a soup with noodles, shoyu, cheese and hot sauce?" Yazuru immediately put a chef's hat on his head, "For sure! While I cook your fantastic meal, why don't you drink a bottle of sake?" and then he pulled a small bottle in front of Bourbon. "Of course! I love alcohol!" said the earth pony, and she took a sip of the sake.

After some minutes, the food was done. The plate looked delicious, and Bourbon ate it with pleasure. When she finished, she drunk the rest of the sake. "For Celestia's butt! That was the best meal I had in months!" "It's good that you liked it." said the fish monster, "The price is 27 coins." Bourbon gulped, "What? That is too steep! I have only 10 coins here." Yazuru facepalmed. The pony started to look after something in her cart, "Wait, maybe I have something valuable here." She had travel supplies, a portable chemistry kit, and a bottle of wine. But noting to bribe the chef. "Well, since you look like you don't have the money, then you don't need to give me any coin." said Yazuru, smiling. "Why, thank you very much!" Bourbon was relieved. "But you will pay... With your blood!" and the chef picked a cleaver knife from behind the counter. "Oh, for the love of..." Bourbon didn't finished talking, as the cleaver went flying two inches from her left ear. Yazuru ran, rolled on the ground, and picked the knife with such speed that Bourbon could not even see his moves.

The pony then clapped her hoofblades together. "But if it's blood that you want, then blood shall we have!" She jumped, taking impulse with her hind legs, spun on the air and fell, making an arc-slash from Yazuru's head to feet.

4 = 1[d6]+3[d6]+0

Yazuru stopped the hoofblades, lifting his cleaver up. Then he connected a violent horizontal slash...

5 = 3[d6]+2

...which almost sliced Bourbon in half, instead cutting her chest to the bone. The pony was sent flying many feets distant, leaving a trail of blood on the way. The quickly got up, even with her wound bleeding horribly. Gore ensues. "See, you are already paying me." said Yazuru, licking the blood from the blade.

Bourbon's eyes were burning with hate, "YOU SON OF A BEACH!!" then she performed a bull rush, running at full speed then jumping with her claws directly aimed to the fish monster's throat.

6 = 4[d6]+2[d6]+0

But Yazuru simply stoop aside, and the pony went past him and falling on the floor, taking small damage. Bourbon got up easily, again; "Now you are playing me." she said. She looked at Yazuru - if she could make him fall, he would be on a bed spot! But it would be dangerous, considering his prowess with the cleaver... "Worth a try!" said the pony, and she rushed again, but when Yazuru lifted the cleaver knife, she spun and kicked his legs, trying to trip him!

6 = 3[d6]+2[d6]+1

4 = 2[d6]+2

Yazuru quickly kicked the pony's stomach with such force that she lifted from the ground, and then he hacked and slashed her again with the cleaver. Blood squirted all around; it's a festival of gore.

The chef laughed, "You are just delaying the inevitable, little pony! Surrender, and I will give you my mercy!" It was more difficult to get up this time, but Bourbon didn't gave up. "I will never surrender to someone like you!" Then the pony ran, directed at Yazuru's food stand. The fish monster followed her, but she was just gaining time to figure out what to do!

14 = 6[d6]+6[d6]+2

Thinking fast, Bourbon quickly figured something. Yazuru was always standing next to his food cart. Why? When the pony run to the other side of the stand, she saw a magical glowing rune. Maybe he is being powered by the food cart! "A-ha!" screamed the pony. Yazuru also screamed, but in surprise. "You stay away from my cart!" he said, throwing the cleaver at full force.

6 = 1[d6]+3[d6]+2

3 = 1[d6]+2

Infalible as always, the cleaver spun and hit the pony. Bourbon gained another open, as the blade passed slashing the side of her barrel. She knew she was almost dead by now, but Yazuru was now unarmed! "Now you die, freak!" she said bucking the magical rune with her hind legs. Then there was a flash of light, and Yazuru screamed! When the light faded, Bourbone looked for him... He turned into a very small version of himself, looking ridiculous. Yazuru cursed, "No! My spell! Curse you, Bourbon!" The pony approached slowly, with a cruel, vengeful smile in her face, "Awwwn, how cute! It will be a shame to make you die now..." Yazuru, now small and helpless, and tried to run. But Bourbon caught him very easily. The bleeding, almost dead pony, sliced off Yazuru's legs. He screamed, in terror and pain, as his fresh blood squirted from the wounds.

Bourbon kicked the bleeding fish-monster, "I could leave you here, bleeding to the death..." she said. Then she looked at his food cart, "...but I have a funnier idea!" She craved her hoofblade, impaling him on the stomach, and approached the food cart. Yazuru was bleeding from the mouth, he would not survive much longer. He managed to say, "You... you are evil..." Bourbon had two horrible wound in her chest, and another on the side of her barrel. She was covered in crimson blood, mostly hers, and she said, "Look what you have done to me! BECAUSE OF A FEW COINS!" she said, sitting behind the food cart. The cooking oil was boiling. "No..." Yazuru said, his eyes widening in horror. "You deserve it." "No! Don't do this! Leave me to die! Please!" he screamed, slipping from the blade, almost fallig on the hot oil. "You would kill me if you had a chance. You will pay for your greed, Yazuru!" Bourbon lifted her other hoof, to pull him off the claw. "NO! PLEASE! HAVE MERCY! I WILL DO ANYTHING! BUT DON'T THROW ME ON THE OIL!" he screamed, crying, looking quickly to the oil boiling below him, and then to Bourbon's merciless eyes. She just shook her head. "Pathetic." And watched Yazuru burn, screaming in the hot oil, until he stopped, and his corpse started to burn, becoming less teal and more black.

Bourbon almost threw up, sensing the smell of burned meat, which nauseated her. Also, she felt her wounds burning, and her vision becoming blurry from the blood loss. It was just now that she realized how much risk she had passed. The pony chemist walked to her cart, and started to prepare some chemical substances to stop the blood loss and the burning pain.

8 = 4[d6]+2[d6]+2

Mixing the substances, a red liquid and a blue liquid on a flask, they became purple. Bourbon drinked all the result. She felt the bleeding stop. She smiled. But then, she felt all her strength vanish, and blacked out.

---- SESSION END ---- Difficulty: Hard XP Gain: +400 XP
Bourbon opened her eyes.

The sun was glowing bright, but in the sky was still night. There was no moon in sight, and Bourbon remembered the fright of her last fight.

"Ouch, my body hurts..." she mumbled, fighting to stand up. The pony looked at her wounds. Most of the blood had dryed and closed the wounds. Some where still open, but no one was bleeding.

She needed a bath, as she was still covered in her own blood. But first, Bourbon walked to Yazuru's food cart. In the oil panel was a carbonized corpse of the monster who tried to murder her with a cleaver knife.

She pulled her own car, and stole most of the food and water in Yazuru's cart. She also got a lighter, and a small gas tank.

10 = 5[d6]+4[d6]+1[d6]

She also stole 10 coins from Yazuru and his knife.

"This is the blade that almost killed me." said Bourbon to herself. The explorer put the cleaver on her belt, the scarf in front of her muzzle, and the goggle on her eyes.

She was ready to continue her journey.


Many hours passed. The sun, a bright fireball in the starlit night sky, moved across the horizon. As always, the dust storm was strong, but Bourbon was an earth pony, and she was stronger.

Eventually, she needed to stop and rest, consuming some of her travel supplies - water and food for the journey. After the break, she resumed the travel.

Then, above all the dust clouds, Bourbon saw a mountain range. She was on the edge of the desert. The pony walked in that direction, bravely fighting against the dust.

When she left the dust storm, she saw a village below the mountain. It seemed like a small mining town. As the pony approached, she could see more details.

The buildings where made of dark-blue stone, same as the rest of the desert. There was a gray wood too, and the roofs were made of bamboo. There was the constant ring of tiny bells and signets, all flowing with the wind.

The village folk were more strange. They were jet-black small humanoids, all wearing colored, plain clothes. Their eyes were glowing white.

As Bourbon entered the village, taking off her goggles and scarf, the local folk looked at her. But they seemed more concerned than fearful. A wounded pony covered in dry blood was walking through the streets, she surely needed help.

But then she approached one of the residents, a creature wearing a red tunic with a hood. Bourbon smiled and said "Hello, fellow! I'm Bourbon, an explorer. What is this place?"

The people looked relieved. Bourbon had made clear that she didn't want trouble. The creature said, "This is the village of Stoneshire, traveler. We are the Nightfolk. What brings you to our humble town?"

"A monster tried to kill me. I almost died there!" she said, pointing a hoof to the desert, "I have only 20 coins, but I need a bath and a medic. I'm a chemist, I could make something for you in exchange. Can you help me?"

The nightman in red hood was surprised with Bourbon's story. He promptly showed her the village. First, she went to the INN, where she could take a bath and rest. Her clothes were cleaned and fixed where it was cut. Late that day, a nightwoman medic came, and helped clean and heal the rest of her wounds.

The following day, Bourbon paid them in money - taking all of her coins - and also making some chemical substances for them, mostly medicine and house-cleaning products. It depleted all supplies from her chemistry kit.

She had no more money and needed to refill her kit, but she was brand new. Her wound were completely healed, and her cloth was fixed and clean.

"Thank you all for you hospitality, nightfolk!" she said, pulling her cart to the middle of Stoneshire, "But now I must continue my explorations!"

The people looked at themselves. They started to talk about something in a language that Bourbon did not understood. Then, a nightwoman in blue dress approached the pony. She said, "Miss Bourbon... We are help to have you here in our town... But we would be more happier if you could help us with a problem..."

Bourbon gave her a small smile, and then she said, "Well... I could help you, but for a price."

The nightwoman said, "Of course, you will be paid for your help!"

The pony left her cart and approached the little woman, "Excellent! What do you want of me?"

"We, the nightfolk of Stoneshire, earn our money by mining tungsten and manganese from the mines." she pointed to an entrance halfway, from the mountain's peak, "My daughter is the leader of the miners, but she is refusing to pay them. When the miners went to strike, she flew to the depths of the underground."

"And you want me to bring her back?" said Bourbon, puttin her goggles on.

"Hell, no, I want you to explode the passage to the underground so she will never come back again!" said the nightwoman in blue dress.

Bourbon accepted. It would be easy - she's a chemist, she could do explosions with almost anything. "I can do it."

The pony left the village, walking the way up to the mines, with her cart behind. When she was there, Bourbon looked back and saw all the extention of the desert, and the dust storms running wild. She even saw the light of Yazuru's food stand.

Then she entered the mines.

The place was dark, but there were some torches on the walls. The nightfolk were small, so they dug up passages that were difficult for a pony like Bourbon to tresspass. She could not pull her cart with her, so she just put the gas tank on her back, and the lighter on her mouth, and entered the tunnels.

Many moments passed, and the explorer found herself out of the tunnels, and inside a natural cave. A passage was there, that descended to the underground. Bourbon though that this should be the entrance to the underground.

"I think this should be the entrance to the underground." she said, and then she saw an old sign, saying 'Entrance to The Underground'.

The pony put the gas tank on the floor and kicked it's cover. A jet of white gas started to flow out of it.

Bourbon leaned up to lit the fire...

1 = 3[d6]-2

But something came out of nowhere and kicked her face, making her drop the lighter a few feet away.

"What the?!" she said, and then she saw a nightwoman with a miner's helmet and a pickaxe in her hands.

"My mother sent you here to kill me, isn't it true?" she said.

"Yes! Oh my, I'm relieved I don't have to tell the whole story." said Bourbon, grasping the cleaver with her mouth.

The nightwoman miner spun her pickaxe as if it was a nunchaku. "You won't succeed! I'm the Queen of the Cave! This mine is MINE!"

The pun had hit Bourbon harder than Yazuru's cleaver. "By Celestia's butt, will you at least tell me your name?!"

"You are not noble enough to know my name!"

"Then I will call you Gertrudes. Now get your ass here and fight for you life!" said the pony, advancing in Gertrude's direction with the cleaver in her mouth. The nightwoman also rushed, wielding the pickaxe in both hands.

4 = 2[d6]+2[d6]+0

On the last moment, Bourbon tripped on a stone and fell, and Gertrudes attacked.

6 = 6[d6]

The pony took a pickaxe right on the barrel, the blunt trauma force was such that she was sent flying to the other side of the room, directly on a stone wall, which cracked.

Bourbon quickly stood up, as she always does. She remembered how Yazuru was good at throwing his cleaver, and she tried to do the same. The pony spun and turned her head, opened her mouth and sent the cleaver knife spinning directly at Gertrudes.

5 = 3[d6]+2[d6]

Gertrudes caught the cleaver. "Thank you! But a queen does not accept presents from lower beings." An then she threw it back.

10 = 3[d6]+6[d6]+1

Bourbon jumped quickly, dodging the cleaver. Then she performed a bull rush, preparing to slice the nighwoman in half with her hoofclaws. Even failing all her previous attacks, she was reckless and would fight to death!

10 = 6[d6]+4[d6]+0

5 = 5[d6]

Bourbon ran at full speed, jumped halfway from her target and when she was in melee range, she spun her body, spilling Gertrude's blood all the way as the impact sent her directly into the opposite wall.

"YES! I HIT!" the pony cheered, starting a silly victory dance, "MY CLAWS STRIKES TRUE!"

"HOW DO YOU DARE HIT THE QUEEN OF THE MINES?!" said Gertrudes, and Bourbon could only see the pickaxe flying at her direction.

9 = 6[d6]+2[d6]+1

2 = 2[d3]

The mare tried to get out of the way, and she almost succeed, but the pickaxe still managed to slash a wound, not a severe one, but it hurted. A bit of blood was flowing on the ground.

"I just fixed my clothes yesterday!" then she performed another reckless charge at Gertrudes, who was very hurt, and also dizzy because of the gas filling the cave. Bourbon was a larger creature, so there was more space in her lungs to fill until the gas was too intense to take.

She jumped with her hoofblades slashing the air...

11 = 4[d6]+6[d6]+1

2 = 2[d6]

She almost sliced Gertrudes in half, but even with the weak attack, the nightwoman's flesh was torn from her bones. She fell, bleeding, almost dead but not yet.

Getrudes started to get up, slowly. "But... I am a queen... I can't lose..."

Bourbon ignored her epiphany, and rushed to get the lighter. She ran at full force, back into the mines, but then she spun and threw the lighter inside the cave filled with gas...


The explosion was so powerful that the pony was sent flying past the tunnel, hurting her sides in the tight passage, and then she was thrown from the mines' entrance, directly from the mountain, falling more than 50 feet of height.

2 = 2[d10]

But Bourbon simply spun artistically, as she was falling from that absurdly height.
The pony landed on her four hooves, in the middle of Stoneshire village, opening a crater and doing a sonic wave that tripped most of the nightfolks.

"I WON!" screamed the pony.

"You won!" said the nightwoman in blue dress, who was gertrude's mother. "We did it! We got rid of the tyrant!"

The nightfolk cheered in happiness, they lifted Bourbon from the ground and made a parade around the village. A party was organized, and a few hours later, there was food and drinks and music.

During the rest of the day, Bourbon ate a delicious food, drunk a delicious drink until she was drunk, and danced until her legs could not stand anymore.

And of course, she eventually passed out due to the alcoholic levels in her blood, but she was smiling while unscounscious.

---- SESSION END ----
Difficulty: Average
XP Gain: +300 XP

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