Zombie Apocalypse Ridding the world of the Undead, one corpse at a time.
I see Karen mouth some words to me with tears streaming down her cheeks but for some reason I can't hear what she is saying. I see her stand up and she is looking around for something as the room grows dark and my head falls forward.
I have a terrible dream where I am being chased around a circular room with no doors by a cross dressing zombie and a naked old lady trying to gum me to death. I awake in a cold sweat. Am I still in the house?
(Likely) Yes, and...
My eyes open but everything still looks fuzzy and my head is pounding like a Honda Civic with 15's in the back. I tilt my head up and look around the room. Is it still daytime?
(50/50) Yes, and...
I still see light coming in through the windows but it looks like I am now lying down on the leather couch in the living room. Is Karen in the room with me?
(Somewhat Likely) No.
Is there any zombies?
(50/50) No.
I sit up rubbing my head. "Where is Karen?" I say well standing up and heading towards the kitchen. I turn the corner to the kitchen is Karen there?
(50/50) No, and...
(50/50) Yes.
Just as I turn to enter the kitchen I am assaulted by the cross dressing sergeant as he jumps on top of me pinning me to the ground. He pulls out a dusty notebook from the front of his G-string and starts to open it holding it over my face and laughing like a maniac. "Nooo!" I scream "I don't want to see them!" Am I dreaming?
(Very Likely) Yes.
"Just Kill me, Just kill me!" I yell quickly sitting up in a unknown place drenched in sweat. It's dark inside the room and I can't make out exactly where I am. I turn my head from side to side searching for the Tranny Zombie but to no prevail. "It was just a dream." I say well taking a deep breath. My head begins to throb and I squeeze my eyes shut falling back onto something soft. Am I on the couch?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
Is Karen there?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes, but...
I open my eyes to see Karen's face not 3 inches from mine. She is sleeping it looks like. "I wonder how long I was out for." I think to myself well watching Karen sleep. She must of dragged me here after the fight with that disgusting soiled zombie in the bedroom. I reach up to my head feeling some type of cloth wrapped around my head. I press lightly on the bandages feeling pain shoot through my head. "Fuck that hurts." I say out loud with clenched teeth. Do I wake Karen up?
(Somewhat Likely) No.
Karen mumbles something in her sleep but I can't quite make it out. I listen more closely as her eyelids shutter and her lips continue moving. "Get off him." She says obviously having a bad dream. Probably about what happened in the bedroom. Should I wake her up?
(Likely) No, and...
Just as I go to reach for Karen's shoulder to shake her awake her eyes snap open and she is staring right at me.
"Kevin!" She says excitedly well wrapping her arms around me and squeezing tightly. "Your awake! I knew you would wake up eventually!"
"Eventually?" I ask as my head starts to hurt again.
Karen seems to notice me wincing in pain and she immediately releases me. "I'm sorry!" She says quickly with a concerned look on her face. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"It's fine." I say well rubbing my eye. "How long have I been out for anyways?" I ask.
74 = 74[d100]
She looks sad all of the sudden. "You were asleep for a little over 3 days" She finally says as tears begin to roll down her cheeks again. "I was afraid you would never wake up."
"3 days!" I say with a shocked look on my face. "How did you survive for 3 days without me?"
"I was able to find some canned food in the bedroom and it turns out the water in the sink still works." She says wiping the tears from her eyes as new ones continue to form.
"I was able to bandage your head with a piece of cloth I found in the bedroom and I dragged you here to the couch and have been taking care of you ever sense." She tells me as I reach up and pat her on the head.
"That'll do pig, that'll do." I say with a smile and a cringe as I feel another spike of pain in my head.
Karen seems to stop crying and I catch the hint of a smile on the corner of her mouth. "Stupid." She says before hugging me again.
"No but seriously you really saved my bacon back there." I tell her with a grin.
"Just shut up already." She replies well starting to cry again still holding on to me.
I fall back asleep again and a few hours pass before I wake up again.
I open my eyes and I see light pouring in through the broken windows of the living room. As I sit up I see Karen and it looks like she is looking at something on the floor. "Morning." I say feeling much better than I did during the night. "What are you looking at?"
"Good morning." Karen says well turning to me with a smile. "I was just studying the maps of the mansion so we have a good understanding of the place before we head over there."
I give her a puzzled look. "What?" She finally asks turning herself around to face me.
"I didn't know you knew how to read is all." I say with a grin.
"Jerk." She says well turning back around and folding up the map again. She walks over and hands it to me and I put it back in my pocket. "How ya feeling?" She asks.
"Can't complain, I've tried, but no one listens" I tell her with a smile.
"Your an idiot aren't you." She says well smiling back.
(Very Likely) Yes.
"Yes" I reply standing up and stretching my arms over my head. "You said you found some food and that the water works last night didn't you?"
A guilty look forms on her face. "I did find some food, but I ate it all.." She says looking down at the ground.
"Hey no worries." I tell her well helping her to her feet. "We should find some empty water bottles so we can fill them up to take with us."
2 = 2[d5]
"I already found a couple and filled them up. They are in your bag." She replies well looking proud of herself.
"Nice job." I say well noticing the 2 full water bottles sitting on top of the stuff in my bag along with the metal flashlight. "Did you find anything else in the bedroom?"
(50/50) No, and...
"Just the food." Karen says well picking up the bag and handing it to me. "You sure you are feeling good enough to head out already?"
"Oh yeah." I tell her unwrapping the bandages from my head with a wince. "I think I slept long enough." I take a look at my watch.
10 = 4[d6]+6
the watch reads 10am. "Lets get going." I say well picking up the rest of my gear off the floor around me.
"You got it!" She replies with a big smile.
I walk over to one of the broken windows in the room and look outside. Do I see anything?
(50/50) No.
I don't see any shambling corpses so we should be ok to make a break for the mansion. I step through the window and give Karen a hand getting through herself behind me. Standing on the porch I can see that there is still 2 unexplored houses between us and the mansion but now that we have a little bit of food and water I don't think we should waste anymore time completing our mission for Henry. If we ever plan to leave this god forsaken town we are going to need as many guns as we can get.
"Another fun filled day in paradise awaits us." I say to Karen before stepping off the porch.
"Yeah I bet." She replies following closely behind.
Karen and I make our way out the front yard and into the street heading in the direction of the mansion. We keep a safe distance from the first house as we pass. Does the house have a privacy fence?
(Somewhat Unlikely) No.
I don't see anything in the front yard of the first house as we make our way down the center of the street except for an over turned tricycle and a plastic kids slide sitting in the overgrown grass.
Can I see anything in the windows?
(Somewhat Unlikely) No.
The windows of the house are dark and I can't see inside, the curtains are most likely drawn shut.
Passing by the house now, about 200 feet down the road and to my left I can see the old pharmacy building come into view. As we near it I can make out the colors and shapes of graffiti spray painted onto the brick walls of the building. Are they just gang signs?
(50/50) No.
Well looking closer at the spray painted walls I realize they are not graffiti at all, they seem to be warnings and messages that different people must of left. 'STAY OUT' I see in large bold letters along with 'DEAD INSIDE NOT SAFE' beside it in a different color and text. I can see a couple of cans of open spray paint lying on the sidewalk next to the wall. Are the doors of the building barred shut?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
There is a section of metal pipe wedged between the door handles on the front door of the store. The ends appear to have been bent over so the pipe would not fall out. I glance over at Karen as we continue down the street and she is intentionally looking away from the building probably trying not to remember what happened to her younger brother inside the store.
We slow our pace as we come upon the next 2 houses. One of which is the other house I could see from the window before we left. The other house was out of sight behind the old Pharmacy. Does either house have a privacy fence?
(50/50) No, but...
Do I see any zombies?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
A whole lot of zombies?
(50/50) No, but...
5 = 5[d5]
Are they a safe distance away?
(50/50) No.
Do they see us?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
Listless zombie.
Enormous zombie.
Freakishly tall zombie.
Maggot-infested zombie.
Virulent zombie.
Are they all at the unseen house?
(50/50) No, but...
I come to a complete stop putting my arm out in front of Karen signaling for her to stay behind me. Not 50 feet from us I spot a small group of 3 zombies right outside the house I couldn't see before. One of them must of been a basketball player because he is nearly 8 feet tall! Standing directly behind him is an obese blob of a woman in a ruptured sun dress with her fat folds pouring out from the ripped clothing and she has a normal sized friend with her.
The Jolly Green Giant in basketball shorts is the first to see us and he lets out a loud bellowing roar getting the other two's attention. Just then I can make out the shape of another diseased zombie crawling in the grass of the front lawn not unlike the acid spitting freak I had the misfortune of running into inside the clothing store.
"Look out!" I hear Karen scream as I turn to see another Maggot-infested walker coming down the alleyway along side me not 15 feet away. I turn back around to see that Karen already has her crossbow drawn and is aiming at the creep. I duck down just as Karen fires. Does she hit him?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
Moderate Injury: Hampers action significantly; will require first aid/medical attention.
The bolt hits him right in the left leg, spinning him around and sending maggots flying in all directions. He falls over onto his face in a pile of garbage.
I can see that the abnormally tall zombie is making his was directly towards us with the blob trailing behind. The normal sized friend of hers doesn't seem to be in any hurry just stumbling forward at a slow pace. Can we outrun these guys?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
"Run!" I yell to Karen "We can't take on all of these things!" Karen nods and we both turn tail running in the direction we just came from. Is there anything nearby that we can use to lose these guys?
(50/50) Yes.
Just as we make our way back to the Pharmacy I catch sight of an old rusty dumpster sitting behind the building. I quickly look behind me and I cannot see any of the circus freaks behind us yet. "This way." I say well grabbing Karen's wrist and jogging the rest of the way to the dumpster. WE stop just in front of it and I quickly open the lid. Is there anything besides garbage inside?
(Unlikely) No, but...
I am greeted with the sight of quite a few full bags of putrid garbage and a horrid stench to go along with it. I turn to Karen. "Get In." I tell her.
Her eyes grow wide and she opens her mouth to protest but stops as she realizes my cunning plan. "Fuck me." She states as I give her a leg up into the stinking refuge. I hurry up and climb in myself behind her plopping down into the warm wet bags of trash as they slowly deflate underneath me.
I reach up and close the lid just as the globe trotter starts to come into view. I cringe as the horrible smell inside the sweltering hot dumpster fills my nose. "Fuck me is right!" I say well plugging my nose. There is a small gap at the bottom of the lid letting in a bit of light and cool air but it is not big enough to see out of.
"I really hate you right now." Karen says well trying to peek out the gap but then giving up and sinking back down into the hell that has become our life.
"We could be getting eaten right now." I tell her with a grin well hearing the sounds of the first zombie go walking past the dumpster still headed down the road.
"I'm not sure which is worse." Karen replies with a sour look on her face. Just then I can feel the dumpster start to shake as the behemoth in a sun dress passes by.
We wait as approximately 5 minutes goes by with no sign of the other zombies. I slowly stand up pushing the lid up as I go to get a look outside. Do I see anything?
(Unlikely) Yes.
Is it the slow walking zombie?
(Somewhat Likely) No, but...
The Maggot Zombie?
(50/50) No, but...
I lift the lid up barely enough to get a view of the street and I don't see any zombies. "Alright let's go." I say as I begin to stand up the rest of the way. Just then I catch sight of the Diseased Acid spitting zombie crawling down the sidewalk in the direction that the other's went. I quickly drop back down into the dumpster. Did he see me?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
"Stay down!" I whisper to Karen as I sink back into the garbage. I can hear the clicking of the zombies fingernails on the pavement and his body dragging behind him and they sound like they are getting closer.
Suddenly the sounds stop and all I hear is silence. Karen and I both look at each other as sweat beads down our faces. I hear a loud 'Bang' on the side of the dumpster and we both turn back to where the sound came from. The loud bang is followed by a hissing sound like a steak cooking on a grill. "God Damnit" I say as the light begins to break through the melting hole forming where the bastard outside hocked his acid loogie.
"Let me borrow that." I tell Karen well pointing to her crossbow. She hands it to me and I cock it back and load another bolt on it as more light begins to fill inside of the dumpster. I count to 3 before rising to my feet opening the dumpster lid all the way with my head and pointing the crossbow down at the acid spitters face. I pull the trigger just as he looks up at me.
(Likely) Yes, but...
Critical Injury: Requires immediate attention; clearly life-threatening if not immediately deadly.
I hit the sickly puke right in the eye and the bolt goes right through his head bouncing off the wall behind him. Amazingly he still looks to be alive as he is now quivering on the cement.
Karen screams and I look down to see that the garbage bags near the now gaping hole in the dumpster are starting to melt as well. "We gotta get out of here." I tell her well reaching my arm down and pulling her to her feet.
We both hop out of the dumpster and I land a couple feet from the pulsating acid sprayer still jerking around on the ground. I hand the crossbow back to Karen and draw my zombie murdering sword. I take a step forwards and ram the sword through the top of his skull.
Is the sword still usable?
(50/50) Yes, and...
I pull the sword out of his head and I look at the blade surprised to see that no acid managed to get on it.
I turn to Karen well sheathing my sword. She is drenched in sweat and is currently pulling on the top of her bullet-proof vest and tank top trying to get them to be unstuck to her skin revealing the top of her sweaty chest along with it.
Karen suddenly stops what she is doing and her eyes look up at me but I do not make eye contact with her as I am busy looking elsewhere.
I can feel the heat from Karen's eyes as they begin to burn a hole in my forehead. I look up realizing that I have been caught and I quickly turn around rubbing the back of my neck. After a few moments Karen appears along side me. "Ready to go?" she asks with a hint of a smile.
"You could say that." I tell her as I mentally jot down the dumpster dive as the best idea I have had all day. I lean down and pick up the Bolt that ricocheted off the wall when I shot the crawling dipshit in the face. Is the Bolt still usable?
(50/50) Yes.
Surprisingly the bolt still seems to be in ok shape. I hand it to Karen before we make our way down the alleyway deciding to exit out the opposite side we came in from.
We reach the end of the alleyway and I lean my head out to take a gander. I can now fully see the hospital in all it's haunted horrifying glory. I also see the house where I caved the cub scouts head in with the bowling ball the other day. A smile forms on my face as I relive the events of that encounter in my head for a moment before going back to my search of the area. Do I see anything?
(50/50) Yes.
More zombies?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes, and...
Is there something besides zombies?
(50/50) Yes, and...
A human being?
(50/50) Yes.
Chauvinistic survivalist.
Are they being chased by the zombies?
(50/50) No.
Are they hiding from the zombies?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
My eyes grow wide as I spy what looks like a man hiding behind a park bench with a weapon of some sort..
SW revolver (.38 cal).
.. It looks to be a revolver and he seems to be stalking a group of..
4 = 4[d5]
Shrieking zombie.
Giant zombie.
Unusually strong zombie.
Virulent zombie.
..4 zombies not 30 feet away from him. He turns and see's me poking my head out of the alleyway and starts waving his hand signaling for me to come over there.
I step out a little further and point my index finger towards myself. He gives me a stupid look tilting his cowboy hat wearing head to the side.
I turn around to Karen. "Wait her for a second." I tell her. "I will be right back."
She gives me a confused look but then nods her approval as I drop to the ground and begin to army crawl towards the Macho Man hiding behind the bench. Do the zombies spot me?
(Unlikely) No, and...
I make it all the way to the bench about 60 feet from where I left Karen. "Man did you show up at the perfect time." The guy in the cowboy hat says well giving me a hand up. I crouch behind the bench besides him.
"Who the hell are you?" I ask looking the dude up and down. He is wearing a pair of army boots with camouflaged pants a white t-shirt with a duster over top and a curled up cowboy hat.
"Names Jack." He replies with a cocky grin. "I don't suppose you know that girl back there do you?" He asks well tipping his hat towards the alleyway.
I turn to look at Karen who is poking her head out of the alley looking right at us with wide eyes and a mad look on her face. "Ahh yes." I tell him well flapping my hand back and forth signaling for Karen to get back in the alleyway. She gives me the middle finger before ducking back out of sight.
"Woman." Jack says well shaking his head. "Always pissed at you for something. If there not in the bed or making you a sandwich who needs em." He says with a laugh.
I let out a nervous laugh well glancing back towards the alleyway making sure Karen did not hear that. "So you said your name was Jack? I don't suppose you know a guy named Henry selling weapons in the mall?" I ask him.
He gives me a strange look. "I take it you have seen out little operation then?" He replies with a grin. "Yeah me and old Henry go way back. I was just on my way over there to drop off this bag of supplies when I ran into that there gaggle of cannibal copses." He says well patting the large black duffle bag sitting on the ground beside him. "What is it that you got from old Henry?" He asks.
"Well actually he sent me on a errand for him to get back some old revolver of his from that mansion up the road. Kind of like the one you have in your hand right now." I tell him well pointing at the gun in his hand. Is it the gun we are looking for?
(Very Unlikely) No.
"What this?" Jack replies turning the gun over in his hand. "Well I can tell you this definitely aint the gun that old Henry sent you out here for." I frown as I realize that what he just said is true as I take a closer look at it and see that it is relatively new and not decorative at all. "Yeah I've had this baby for going on 8 years now. She hasn't let me down yet." he tells me well giving the revolver a kiss.
I give him a weird look. "Well if we crawl back to the alleyway we should be able to get away from those walkers without them seeing us." I tell him well taking a glance over the bench at the zombies who are still standing there in a group.
"Smoking Gun Jack run away from a couple biters!?" He says with a big grin as I realize that he must be referring to himself in 3rd person. "I would rather go out in a blaze of glory than turn tail and run from the likes of those pansies."
"I don't know man, there a quite a few of them and that one is fucking huge. Not to mention the body builder standing next to him." I say well peeking back over the bench.
"They don't scare me." He says well spinning the chamber on his revolver swinging it to the side with a click. "You just sit back here and let old Smoking Gun Jack show you how it's done."
I open my eyes wide and tilt my head to the side before looking back to him. "Well let's see it then." I say well knowing damn well that he is more than likely zombie chow.
Does he take his bag with him?
(50/50) Yes.
As he goes to stand up he reaches over to pick up his bag on the ground beside him. Realizing that he is more than likely going to die in the next few seconds I act fast. "Hey don't you think that you should just leave the bag there for now so it doesn't slow you down well you are fighting those zombies? I was really looking forward to seeing your awesome moves out there." I say as he turns to look at me.
Does it work?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
His face lights up with a big grin "Your really excited to see this aren't you boy?" He replies well setting the bag back down on the ground.
I watch him set the bag down before looking up at him. "Oh you know it Jack." I say with a serious face. "I bet I could learn all kinds of cool tips and tricks from watching you handle those zombies."
"Well I won't let you down boy." He tells me well tipping his hat and running out from behind the bench with his revolver held high.
"I'm sure you won't." I mumble under my breath as I reach over and grab hold of the bag strap with a devious grin.
Not wanting to miss this I peek my head back over the park bench for a perfect front row seat. As Jack walks towards the zombies he points his gun into the air and fires off a shot. "Come on you rotten sonsabitches! Smoking Gun Jack will take you all on!" He yells as the 4 zombies turn as one inspecting there next meal. Jack points his pistol at the hulking beast in the center and fires.
Negligible: Nick/Scratch/Bruise.
The small bullet hits the brute in the chest but it doesn't even phase him as he steps forward and lets out a terrible roar. A smile begins to grow on my face as Jack levels his revolver and quickly fans the hammer firing off 4 more shots in quick succession. "How do you like this!" He yells.
Negligible: Nick/Scratch/Bruise.
Completely oblivious to the tiny holes in his barrel shaped chest the giant begins to charge towards Jack well the other 3 zombies follow more slowly behind.
I can see Jack's eyes grow wide with a terrified look on his face. He starts to run to his left well fumbling for something in his pocket as the zombies adjust there course with him. Jack pulls out a handful of bullets from his dusters pocket and frantically begins trying to load his gun well dropping bullets all over the place. The Massive zombie can't seem to turn fast enough to catch Jack so he begins to slow down coming to a stop and turning around as the other 3 close in for the kill. Does Jack get his gun reloaded in time?
(50/50) No.
Jack is so focused on loading his trusty pistol and the soon to be well fed horde chasing after him he doesn't see the small bush in front of him as he runs right into it. Does it trip him?
(Somewhat Likely) No.
I watch him spot the bush at the last second jumping over it with ease. I frown as he safely lands on the other side still outpacing the zombies behind him. The woman zombie with the long grey hair has now split off from the other 2 and seems to be heading in a different direction.
"Had enough already?" I hear Jack yell at the scrawny woman before turning back to the other 2 still on his tail. Does jack have his pistol reloaded yet?
(50/50) Yes.
Jack stops backing up closing the chamber on his revolver and taking aim as the body builder with arms the size of my head approaches him. I can begin to see that the grey haired bitch is circling around sneaking up on him from behind. The thought of yelling to warn Jack crosses my mind but I don't want to spoil the fun.
Jack unfortunately catches sight of the old hag and quickly turns around pointing the gun at her. "Nobody sneaks up on Smoking Gun Jack!" he yells. Does he get her?
(50/50) No, but...
Before Jack can squeeze the trigger a slimy green ball of acid whizzes past just inches away from his face. Jack turns his head to see the plague ridden acid spitter hacking up bile in his throat building up for another shot. "What the Fu.." I can't even hear jack finish his sentence as the grey haired crone who is now standing directly behind him opens her mouth and lets out an ear piercing shriek!
I am now sitting up a little higher with excitement as Jack seems to be stunned by the sound attack dropping his revolver with his head spinning around like a defeated opponent in mortal combat waiting for the fatality. "Finish Him!" I almost yell as I punch my arm over my head stopping myself short before I accidentally give away my box office seat.
The Steroid Junkie moves in for the kill grabbing Jack by the shoulders and sinking his teeth into his neck.
Critical Injury: Requires immediate attention; clearly life-threatening if not immediately deadly.
The meat head pulls his head back tearing a chunk out of Jacks neck with a spray of blood. Can Jack get away?
(50/50) Yes, but...
Jack manages to break free from the zombies grip and stumbles away towards the outside wall of the hospital pressing his hand against the ragged hole in his neck. He turns to me with a horrified look on his face and I can see him mumble some words probably asking for my help as blood pours from his mouth.
I give him the thumbs up with a big grin on my face holding the duffle bag up for him to see.
A look of confusion comes across his face just as the Hulking Zombie plows into him from the side sending him flying through the air smashing into the wall of the hospital with a loud smack!
He slides down the wall leaving a bloody trail on the white cinder-blocks behind him as the 4 zombies make there way over for the now tenderized feast. I decide that this would be a good time to make my get away and I begin to army crawl my way back to Karen who is watching the whole scene from the alleyway with a shocked face. Do the zombies spot me?
(Unlikely) No.
I can hear the wet sounds of flesh being torn from bone as I begin to stand up next to Karen in the alleyway. I turn back around admiring their handy work as I watch the weight lifter zombie rip one of Jacks arms off and start to gnaw on it like a baby back rib. "That's so Horrible!" I hear Karen say well watching the bloody banquet with her hand covering her mouth.
"Believe me." I begin to tell her well ducking further back into the ally with my new bag of goodies. "You wouldn't of liked the guy anyways."
Karen walks over to me and bends her knees down to watch me as I being to unzip the bag. "Why do you say that?" She asks.
"Just a feeling." I reply well quickly finishing unzipping the bag and tearing it open like its fucking Christmas time!
9 = 9[d10]
Pump-action shotgun (12 gauge).
Crossbow and bolts.
Above average M107 sniper rifle (.50 cal).
M67 frag grenade.
Flint and steel.
Throwing knife.
Excellent blanket.
A single tear begins to roll down my cheek at the sight of the glorious weapon cache I have just acquired. Karen seems to notice. "Don't worry." she says. "I am sure he is in a better place now."
"Yeah like the inside of that zombies stomach." I think to myself well zipping the bag back up and slinging it over my shoulder. I hand my electrician bag to Karen. "Mind carrying that for a bit?" I ask as she takes the bag from my outstretched hand.
"No problem." She replies with a smile hefting the bag strap up onto her shoulder.
"Lets get going." I tell her as I start to head back out towards the way we originally came in with a little pep in my step.
Before we exit the alley I take a look to make sure Michael Jordan and the Beluga Whale are no longer in the area. Do I see them?
(Somewhat Unlikely) No.
They must of passed by the Pharmacy and kept on walking because neither of them are anywhere to be seen. I step back into the alley beside Karen. "I know this morning I said that we should just skip over these next few houses and head straight for the mansion, but we kind of need a place to stash some of this gear for a little while." I tell her well motioning to the heavy duffle bag I am carrying. "We are starting to accumulate too much stuff and it's just going to slow us down if we take it all with us."
"That sounds like a good idea." Karen says well shifting the strap of her bag on her shoulder. "This stuff is kind of heavy."
"Alright then. How about the house with the kids toys in the front yard" I ask her well pointing down the street at the house we passed by earlier. "Maybe we can find a good place to hide this stuff in there."
"K works for me." She replies with a smile.
I set the duffle bag down and I take hold of my shotgun just in case we run into the 2 freak shows again before picking my bag back up and walking cautiously in the direction of the house.
Do we run into anything on the way?
(Somewhat Unlikely) Yes.
(50/50) Yes.
Is it the 2 freaks?
(50/50) Yes, and...
There is more of them now?
(50/50) Yes.
A lot more?
(50/50) Yes, and...
Is it the renfest herd I seen the other day?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
Do I spot them before they see us?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
Just before reaching the house I all of the sudden catch sight of the 2 zombies we ran from earlier and they are now traveling with the pack of cosplay nerds! Luckily I see them before they see us and I am able to wave Karen down as we both rush over to the overgrown grass to hide.
"There are so many of them!." Karen says well lying down in the grass beside me. "What are we going to do?"
Is the nerdy parade headed in our direction?
(50/50) Yes.
"We are going to have to stay here and hide until they pass us by." I tell her with a worried look. "There is no way we can take on all of those guys."
I can see the zombies from where we are at about 20 feet from the road they are travelling on. I unzip the duffle bag reaching inside and pulling out the frag grenade just in case. They are going to pass right by us. Do they spot us in the grass?
(Unlikely) No, and...
The horde of virgins and freaks are now walking right in front of us but they don't seen to notice us hiding in the grass. I glance over at Karen and she has a very nervous look on her face so I slide my arm over and take hold of her hand to try and calm her down as the procession of the dead continues to stumble there way past.
Karen looks over at me and gives me an apprehensive smile before turning back to the walking corpse parade as the last few stragglers hobble on by. We wait for a few minutes until they are out of sight before sitting up in the grass.
I realize I am still holding Karen's hand so I quickly let go. "Sorry about that." I say well turning around and cramming the grenade back into the duffle bag.
"It's alright." Karen replies with a grin. "It calmed me down a bit."
"That's good." I say with a smile as we both stand back up and stretch. "Now lets hurry up and drop this stuff off before anymore of those undead pricks wander on over here.
Does the house still look clear from the outside?
(Somewhat Likely) No.
(Somewhat Likely) No.
(50/50) No.
(50/50) No, but...
Is it a dead person?
(50/50) No, and...
(50/50) Yes.
Superb stick with nails.
I can see a 2x4 leaning up against the front of the house by the door that looks like it has a bunch of long nails hammered through it on the one end. That wasn't there when we passed by the house earlier. I suddenly realize that there may be another person inside the house. Karen see's the board to and she nods to me as we both cautiously approach the side of the house.
Is there a window I can look through?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes, but...
There is a window but the damn curtains are drawn still so there is no way to see inside the house. I decide that going in through the front door is probably not a good idea in case the person inside isn't very friendly. I point towards the back yard well looking at Karen and she nods.
We make our way to the back yard and I look around the corner of the house. Anything?
(50/50) Yes.
Is it a zombie?
(50/50) No.
Is it a person?
(50/50) No.
Another item?
(50/50) Yes, but...
M16 assault rifle (5.56 mm).
Can I get to it without fully exposing myself?
(50/50) No.
There is a shed in the back yard and through the small window on the side of it I can see what looks to be an assault rifle of some kind lying on the bench inside. Unfortunately it is right in the center of the yard in plain sight of the back windows on the house. Going out there to get it would be a bad idea right now until I find out who if anyone is inside the damn house.
Is there a back door?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes, and...
Is it open?
(50/50) No.
A window we could maybe climb through?
(50/50) Yes.
There is a white door on the back of the house and a window only a few feet away from us. Is the window open?
(50/50) No.
I signal for Karen to wait and I slowly sneak over to the window pushing up on the glass to see if it is unlocked.
(50/50) Yes.
The window slides up silently without any problems giving us enough space to climb through. Do I see anyone inside?
(50/50) No.
It is a bedroom and it looks to be empty for the time being. I signal back to Karen and she walks over as I give her a hand through the window before climbing in behind her. Do we make any noise?
(Somewhat Unlikely) No.
We both make it inside without making any loud noises. Can I hear anything going on in the rest of the house?
(50/50) No, and...
I don't hear any sounds from inside the house. Either the person inside is being very quiet or there is no one here at all. I walk over to the door and carefully open it to see if I can catch a glimpse of anything outside the room.
(Somewhat Unlikely) No.
I see an empty hallway with a couple of crooked pictures hanging on the walls. I turn around and set my duffle bag down on the bed and Karen does the same. I don't want it slowing me down in case we get in a fight. I take my shotgun in my hands and Karen has her crossbow drawn as we open up the door and step into the hallway.
1 = 1[d5]
There is only one other door on this section of the hallway. The hall makes a turn down at the end that I cannot see around. I approach the door and place my ear against it. Can I hear anything?
(50/50) No.
I reach down and turn the doorknob opening the door with the end of my shotgun. Anything in here?
(Somewhat Unlikely) No.
It's just an empty bathroom with a dirty toilet sink and bathtub. Nothing scary in here. I turn back around and we both walk towards the bend in the hallway and I peek around the corner. Anything?
(50/50) No.
Looks clear. How many doors?
1 = 1[d3]
There is another door in the hallway and the hall opens up into what looks like a living room on the far end. We walk on over to the door well I keep a close eye on the living room making sure I don't see any movement. I try to listen through this door as well. Anything?
(50/50) No.
Dead silence again. I am starting to wonder whether anyone is here or not. I open the door with my shotgun the same way as before. Clear?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes, but...
Something worth taking?
(50/50) Yes, and...
3 = 3[d3]
Small mirror.
Scoped hunting rifle (.308 cal).
Tool belt.
It's a bedroom and I can see a scoped rifle in a display case against the wall. There is also a tool belt lying on the bed and some makeup on the vanity. It's one of those flip open powder blush discs with the mirror inside. No one living or unliving in the room though.
I look over at Karen and she shrugs her shoulders at me. Maybe we are alone in the house and we are just wasting time sneaking around. We head towards the living room and I can see that it is actually a living room/dining room open floor plan, I see the front door of the house here as well. Anybody here?
(50/50) Yes, and...
(50/50) No, and...
(50/50) No.
Dead zombie?
(50/50) No.
Half eaten person?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
Obsessive-compulsive emergency medical technician.
I spot a partially digested corpse of what appears to be a paramedic or sorts. Anything on the ground near her?
(50/50) No.
She is lying in a pool of blood that is soaked into the carpet. Does it look like this happened recently?
(50/50) Yes.
The blood is still bright red and the corpse isn't decomposed at all so this must of happened in the last few days.
"I wonder what happened here." I whisper to Karen well gesturing to the somewhat consumed woman lying on the floor.
Karen shakes her head with a sad look on her face. I can see another hallway splitting off from the dining room and going directly behind the bedroom we saw the gun in. If I had to guess I would say it probably leads to the kitchen.
Walking past the dining room table and chairs do I see anything in the hallway?
(50/50) Yes, and...
Is it the elusive person I have been searching for?
(50/50) No.
Is it the Dead Head that made a meal out of the EMT?
(50/50) Yes, and...
Is he alive or kinda alive still?
(50/50) Yes, but...
Is he chowing down on another unfortunate victim?!
(50/50) Yes, but...
Is the person being eaten alive?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
Virtuous repairman.
As I turn the corner with my shotgun I am suddenly greeted with the sight of hungry zombie but to my surprise he is currently mauling what appears to be a very unlucky television repair man!
Enormous zombie.
The guy spots me as I come upon the assault in progress. "Oh My God, Help Me!!!" He screams as the grotesquely fat zombie pinning him down takes another succulent bite of of his thigh.
He throws his head back letting out another howl as the freakishly plump flesh eater rips a chunk out and starts to chew on it like a tender piece of steak! I can see Karen and she is wide eyed covering her mouth with both hands as her crossbow dangles from the strap around her shoulder.
Shouldering the shotgun I reach over and take the crossbow from Karen and she looks at me before returning her eyes to the brutal chow fest unfolding directly in front of her. Aiming for the back of the chunky zombies wrinkled head I pull the trigger.
(Likely) Yes.
The arrow sticks into the back of her skull knocking her forward and causing her to projectile vomit the chunk of thigh meat she was chewing on along with some other undesirable liquids right into the repair mans face as she collapses onto his legs causing him to gasp in pain.
"Oh Thank God you saved me!" He lets out with a smile well unsuccessfully trying to lift the heavyweight off his chewed on legs.
"Are you ok!?" Karen asks him in a concerned tone.
"Oh I'll be alright. Nothing a few stitches can't fix." He replies with a grin. "Now if one of you two could give me a hand with this abnormally large woman I would greatly..
Severe Injury: Incapacitating and may become Critical if untreated.
'Thunk' My bolt hits him right in the neck causing his head to jerk back as he spits blood into the air like a gruesome fountain display!
"What are you doing!" Karen screams turning to me as I notch up another bolt in the crossbow.
"Oh God!" the skewered repair man gargles with a mouth full of blood. I aim the crossbow back at his face as his eyes grow wide with terror. "Please No..."
Minor Injury: Largely superficial; painful and distracting, but not life threatening.
The next one takes him right in the arm flinging it backwards before dropping limp to his side. "God Help Me!!" He screams as his arm starts gushing blood from the pierced flesh.
"Hold still Damnit." I say well I begin the reloading sequence again.
"Stop Kevin!" Karen yells watching me point the crossbow back at the severely wounded repairman.
"No more.." The guy mumbles well clearly starting to pass out from the blood loss.
"Thwack!" The bolt trikes him right between the eyes ripping his head back and knocking him to the ground as he chokes on the blood pooling in his mouth before finally dying.
"It's about damn time." I say well handing the crossbow back to the now quivering Karen. "You should probably get those sights fixed." I tell her well stepping towards my trophy kill.
Karen says nothing as I place my foot on the back of the fat zombie bitch and rip the bolt free from her bulbous head. Still good?
(50/50) Yes, but...
I cram it in my back pocket well gripping the bolt stuck in the repair mans flinching arm. I tear it free well shaking the scraps of flesh off the end of it.
(50/50) No.
The shaft is cracked so I toss it over my shoulder and grab hold of the one sticking out of his neck. It comes out relatively easily compared to the others and blood begins pouring out of the ragged hole.
(50/50) Yes, and...
"Ah this one is still in perfect shape." I say well holding the gore covered arrow up for Karen to see. Does Karen throw up?
(50/50) Yes.
Karen's face gets pale as she turns and throws up on the blood covered floor. I shrug my shoulders well taking hold of the last bolt stuck in the now very dead repair mans face. Can I get it out?
(50/50) No.
I pull and yank on the bolt with all my might but alas it just won't come free from the dead fuckers face. "Damnit!" I say well releasing my grip and letting his head smack back down into the puddle of blood with a loud clunk.
"These things are hard to find." I say well pointing the other bolt at Karen as I walk back over to her handing her the blood caked bolts in her shaking hands.
"But why." She asks as I am busy trying to flick a piece of the repair mans brain off my middle finger.
"He was already dead." I tell her with a straight face. "He just didn't know it yet. In fact I did him a favor by killing him."
"A favor!?" Karen replies with an angry look on her face. "You tortured that poor man, shooting him over and over again!"
"Hey it wasn't my fault that he wouldn't stop moving!" I say well growing defensive. "All he had to do was sit still and let me shoot him in the face. Is that so hard to ask?"
"We could have saved him." Karen says with tears building up in her eyes. "You didn't have to do that.
"He was bit." I tell her. "There is no coming back from that. It is better that he died now than him eat some unsuspecting passerby later, wouldn't you agree?"
"I guess so." Karen says with a sniffle as she wipes the tears from her eyes.
"Hey don't worry." I tell her well patting her on the head. "Maybe we can save the next one."
Karen nods her head yes well regaining her composure. "Well now that we know who left that spiked piece of wood by the front door, what do you say we finish checking this house out so we can get on our way?" She asks with a minute smile.
"Lets do it." I reply well eyeballing the repairman's ravaged corpse. Does it look like he has anything worth taking?
(50/50) Yes.
Kerosene lantern.
There is a green coleman kerosene lantern on the ground a few feet from the repair mans stinking carcass.
We already have a perfectly good flashlight so I don't think we need that. Lets head to the kitchen and see what we can find. Anything in here?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes, and...
2 = 2[d3]
Magnifying glass.
Food too?
(50/50) No, but...
More gear?
(Somewhat Likely) No.
(Somewhat Likely) Yes, and...
(Somewhat Likely) Yes, but...
"Ahh Fuck it's Diet!" I say well pulling..
4 = 4[d5]
..4 cans of Diet root beer out of the fridge. "I hate Diet pop."
"I don't mind it." Karen announces well holding up a large meat cleaver in her hand. "Look what I found."
"Nice." I tell her well stuffing the cans of soda into my jacket pockets. I spot a magnifying glass on the counter top but I can't think of a reason to take it other then maybe holding down a zombie and burning a hole in his stupid forehead.
I laugh and Karen gives me a weird look. "Lets check the other rooms." I tell her as we make our way to the dining/living room.
The chewed up Paramedic is still lying on the floor when we get there. "Let me see that." I say to Karen well pointing to the cleaver in her hand.
She hands me the cleaver and I turn around hacking it through the back of the dead medics neck. Does it take more than one swing?
(50/50) Yes.
I yank it out and swing it back down again chopping her head clear from her body with a spray of blood.
"Why did you do that?" Karen asks as I hand her back the cleaver.
"So she doesn't get back up." I say as I begin checking her pockets. Do I find anything?
(50/50) No, and...
The dead paramedics hand suddenly flinches near my boot startling me. "Fuck!" I yell well grabbing Karen's cleaver again and whacking her arm off at the elbow.
I stand up handing Karen the blood drenched cleaver. "Damn bitch scared the hell out of me for a second." I say well looking around the room. Do I see anything?
(50/50) No.
Besides some old plates and silverware sitting out on the table I don't see anything in the dining room and the living room is pretty generic as well. "Lets go grab that stuff we seen in the bedroom we passed by earlier." I say to Karen as she finishes wiping the blood off her cleaver on the arm of the couch.
Once we are in the room I walk over to the bed and grab the tool belt fitting it around my waist. Karen moseys on over to the thing of blush on the vanity picking it up and looking at herself in the mirror. She must of noticed that I messed her hair up again as she frantically starts patting it down again.
I have a grin on my face as I step over to the display case checking out the scoped rifle sitting inside it. Is it locked?
(50/50) No.
I try the handle on the front of the case and it opens right up. "Sweet." I say reaching in and pulling the rifle out inspecting it in my hands. Is it a bolt action rifle?
(50/50) Yes, but...
I slide the bolt back and take a look but it appears to be empty. "This thing could be great for popping a few walkers heads." I say out loud well opening up the drawers in the cabinet. "If only we could find some ammo for it."
(Somewhat Likely) No.
After flipping through all the drawers I can't seem to find any ammunition for the rifle. "Shit." I say with a frown on my face. "Old Henry had a dusty box of .308 rounds back at the store. Maybe I can get those off him next time we go back there."
Karen smiles as she slides the thing of blush into her back pocket. "Lets see if the shitter works." I say as we walk towards the bathroom.
Does it?
(Somewhat Likely) No, but...
I flip the lid on the toilet to find a big stinking pile of shit someone left in the toilet. "Oh what the fuck!" I yell at the sight of the foul-smelling pile of human feces. "This is probably that douche bag repair mans doing." I say letting the lid drop back down.

Karen gives me a funny look as we both check around the bathroom for anything we can take.

(50/50) Yes.


I open up the cabinet under the sink to find an old metal tool box sitting there with the lid closed on it. I flip it open and inside are a couple cheaply made wrenches and a rusty hammer. However there is a shiny new Snap-On screwdriver in the bottom of the box. "I'll take that." I say reaching in and grabbing it, spinning it around in my hand.

"Hey the shower actually works!" I hear Karen announce well looking over to see her messing with the knobs inside the bathtub. Does the hot water work?

(50/50) Yes.

After a few moments the water starts to steam inside the shower. "Wow it's actually warm hot too!" Karen exclaims in an excited voice.

"I think I might actually take a shower right now!" Karen says well turning to me "That is if you don't mind waiting for me."

"Wait you mean I gotta leave the room?" I say giving her a grin.

She gives me a look and points to the door. "Yeah, Yeah." I say as I step out of the bathroom and Karen closes the door behind me.

Well I guess this would be a good time to examine that gear I got from dear old Jack. I think to myself walking into the first bedroom and setting the rifle down on the bed. Unzipping the bag the first thing i reach in and pull out is the super sexy .50cal sniper rifle. "Oh baby!" I say aloud as I begin to drool a bit out of the corner of my mouth. Can I find any ammo for it in the bag?

(Somewhat Likely) Yes.

14 = 14[d20]

There is a large plastic baggy and inside is 14 massive rounds for the sniper rifle. "Oh happy day!" i say well detaching the Magazine from the bottom of the gun. Is it loaded?

(50/50) No.

Damn it's not loaded. How many rounds does it hold?

7 = 2[d5]+5

Looks like it can hold 7 rounds. Plenty enough to reduce a flesh eating zombie into an unrecognizable pile of meat. I set the .50 Cal back on the bed stopping as I begin to hear Karen singing in the other room.

"Sounds like we are both having a good time." I say with a smile as I pull out the shotgun from the bag next. It looks pretty similar to mine except this one is an Ithica 12gauge and it has the featherweight trigger modification. "Nice" I say turning the gun over in my hands. Is it loaded?

(50/50) No.

I slide back the action but there are currently no shells loaded. How much ammo can it hold?

9 = 4[d5]+5

Looks like it has an even bigger capacity than my current shotgun. "I think I will be upgrading." I say as I lay the shotgun down besides the rifles and check the bag for any ammo.

(Somewhat Likely) Yes.

17 = 17[d20]

I find a box of Double-Ought buckshot and upon opening it I count out 17 3 1/2 inch shells. "Fuckin ay!" I say well unloading my shotgun and loading the buckshot into the Ithica. I set them both down on the bed. How many rounds could that .308 chamber anyways?

4 = 1[d5]+3

Looks like 4 rounds plus 1 chambered in the action. I set the rifle back down and pull out the new Crossbow. How many bolts are in the quiver?

5 = 5[d10]

Does the crossbow have a scope?

(50/50) No.

This crossbow seems to be in a little better shape than Karen's. I will have to let her take her pick of the weaponry here once she is done in the shower. My mind starts to wander with depraved thoughts before I shake my head and get back to business.

This blanket is a nice heavy wool blanket. "Well this should keep her warm." I say to myself as I lower the blanket back into the duffle bag.

"What will keep me warm?" I hear Karen say as I turn around to see Karen standing in a towel twisting her hair up over her head.

"Umm what did you say?" I ask her after a long pause completely forgetting what we were just talking about.

Karen finishes with her hair letting her arms down to her sides. "You said something about keeping me warm?" she replies with a smile.

After another short pause I look up at Karen who is staring at me waiting for me to answer. "Ahh yes! The blanket is what I was referring to." I say as I point to the duffle bag beside me without breaking eye contact. "I wasn't talking about me, if that's what your thinking." I say with a grin.

"Uh huh." Karen says with a wink as she turns around and heads back into the bathroom closing the door behind her.

I can't seem to remember what it was that I was doing so I sit down well I wait for Karen to get dressed with my mind off in La La Land."
A few minutes later Karen exits the bathroom fully dressed except for her shoes. She sits down on the bad next to me with a smile on her face and begins to put them on well humming the tune of the song I heard her singing in the shower just a few minutes ago.
I look over watching as a bead of water rolls down her neck and down the center of her chest. I open my eyed wide "Well." I begin to say while standing up and turning around to face her. "I went through all the weapons in the bag and I have them all laid out on the bed for you to take a look at."
Karen turns her head to look and then back to me. "Yep. Those look pretty nice." She says while finishing tying her shoe laces.
I scratch the stubble on my cheek. "I meant for you to pick one that you like." I say with a smile.
"Oh." She replies as she stands up beside me facing the bed full of weapons. "Hmmm." She hums as she looks them over. "I don't know, which ones do you want to use?" She asks well turning to me.
I squeeze my eyes shut while continuing to scratch my cheek. "I will use any of them so it doesn't matter to me either way." I tell her as she turns back to the bed.
"How about that one." She says with her finger pointed out. I tunr my head to see that she is referring to the .50 cal.
"Uh I don't think that is the best option for you." I tell her as I look her small frame body up and down. "Honestly I don't even think you could carry it."
She gives me a frown before letting her arm down. "I don't know than, your the weapon's expert. How about you pick one for me." She says well crossing her arms out in front of her.
"Alright, Alright." I say well stepping towards the bed and picking up the new crossbow. "I think you should stick with the bow. This one is in better shape than yours so I would personally take this one over the other." I tell her well handing her the crossbow.
"Can I keep the cleaver?" She asks with a grin.
"Sure kid." I tell her while I begin swapping around all our stuff between bags and putting everything we don't need in the duffle bag.
I pull out the keys we found but I have no idea what they actually open. Karen hands me the Mansion gate key and I put it on the ring with the rest of them. How many are there anyways?
3 = 3[d5]
So 4 all together now. I turn to Karen noticing her cheeks look a little rosier that normal. "Did you put some of that makeup on in the bathroom?" I ask her while hefting the electrician bag over my shoulder.
"Oh." She replies looking away. "I didn't think you would notice." She says well looking down and sliding her shoe across the carpet.
"It looks nice." I say with a smile as I pick the heavy duffle bag up looking for a place to hide it until we get back.
Karen's face turns red. "Thanks." She replies with a shy smile. Is there a closet in the room we can hide these the duffle bag in?
(50/50) No.
I don't see any closets so I decide stashing them under the bed will do. I cram the bag under the bed before standing back up and grabbing my new Ithica shotgun and the sexy .50cal Sniper Rifle.
Is the crowbar small enough to fit in my tool belt?
(50/50) Yes.
I put the crowbar and the claw hammer along with the screwdriver in my tool belt and the 2 grenades I have in the screw pocket on it. I still have my sword around my waist and my electrician bag holding everything except the wool blanket, shittier flint and steel, and the How-to guide.
"How about we go check out the shed in the back yard." I say well pointing out the window. "I think I saw another gun in there."
"I don't know why we need another gun but ok." Karen replies as we make our way back through the house to the back door in the kitchen.
I pause well opening the door "There is no such thing as too many guns." I say with a grin while stepping into the back yard. Karen rolls her eyes and follows behind.
We head on over to the shed and I take a look back through the window. No undead fucks in here?
(Somewhat Unlikely) No.
Is the doors unlocked?
(50/50) No.
I grab hold of the handles on the doors but they are locked tight. "Damnit." I say walking back around to the window. "We are going to have to bust the window out." I mention to Karen well pulling out the hammer from by belt. I look around for any nearby zombies that might hear this. Can I see anything?
(50/50) No.
I don't see any zombies in the nearby area so we should be safe to break the window. I shatter the glass with my hammer and push all the jagged pieces out of the frame before climbing inside and unlocking the doors for Karen to come in.
We take a look around the shed for anything else useful.
(50/50) Yes, but...
I find another crowbar but I already have one and this one is too big to carry around in my tool belt anyways. I give up searching and turn to look at the beauty sitting on the bench.
Picking it up I can tell right away that it is a military FN M-16A4 model with a detachable 30 round clip. Is there any extra clips for it?
(50/50) No.
Does the rifle have any attachments mounted on it?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
3 = 3[d3]
(50/50) No.
(50/50) No, but...
Holographic Sight?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes, and...
It's a EO tech Holo-sight and the batteries still seem to be working.
(50/50) Yes.
There is a Maglite tactical flashlight mounted to the side of the barrel.
Folding stock?
(50/50) No.
Collapsible stock?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
The gun has a Magpul Collapsible stock on it as well. Is it loaded?
(50/50) Yes.
25 = 15[d20]+10
I count out 25 rounds inside the clip before putting them back in it.
As I stand there drooling over the work of art I am holding in my hands Karen walks over and takes a look at it. "Can I take that one?" She says with a smile.
Suddenly the grin on my face becomes a frown. I can't give her the shotgun because the kick would probably knock her on her ass and no way am I giving up the .50. Someone somewhere is now playing the saddest song on the worlds smallest violin for me as I hand over the M-16 to Karen with tears building up in my eyes.
"Thanks!" Karen exclaims with a smile on her face. ".... So how do you use this thing anyways." She asks with a grin.
I just about fall to the floor upon hearing her question. Once I am done wiping the tears from my eyes I begin to show her the in's and outs of using the gun and it's many attachments.
"Oh I think I got it now!" She says with a big grin on her face. "So I point the barrel at the thing I want to shoot right?" She asks swinging the gun to a ready position pointing it out the window.
"Smartass." I say watching her mess with the different features on the gun. "She does seem to have it down pretty good already." I think to myself well stepping out into the grass.
Karen steps out beside me and I can she has the rifle hanging from her 3-point sling in front of her bullet-proof vest and the crossbow over her shoulder. "You do look like one badass chick." I tell her as she looks over to me.
"You think so?" Karen asks putting on a angry face for a second before busting out in a grin.
"Oh yeah, your a real walking terror kid." I say with a laugh.
"Stop calling me kid." Karen says while giving me a dirty look.
"You got it Kiddo." I tell her well rubbing my hand on the top of her head again.
Karen rolls her eyes as I mess her hair all up for the umpteenth time. "Now let's get a move on to that damn mansion. We gotta make it there before dark at least." I say well looking at my watch.
"let's do it." Karen replies with her hair sticking up, not even caring to fix it this time.
We decide to go around the back of the next house to get to the mansion this time avoiding the main road. We make our way through the overgrown grass well swatting at mosquitos as we go. After a few minutes we get within view of the next house. Can we see anything in the back yard?
(50/50) No.
There are no walking corpses that we are able to see from our current position so once we decide it is safe we continue on past the house making a B line for the mansion.
Once we get within the grounds for the mansion I can start to see the full size of it. "This place is huge!" I say well looking over to Karen who is just as wide-eyed as I am at the sight of the impressive manor before us. "It's a good thing we found that map." I say well patting my back pocket. "It looks like a person could get lost in there."
Karen has a nervous look on her face and she seems to be staring at something in the back yard of the mansion. I try to catch a glimpse of the walker that she is looking at but all I can see is some party balloons and decorative table sheets pulled over a bunch of fold up tables on the patio. There is a large colorful blow up bounce house and a large in-ground swimming pool as well.
After a few moments of looking I give up turning to Karen. "What is it you see? I ask "Is it a zombie?"
(Somewhat Unlikely) Yes.
"Not just any zombie." she says nervously while pointing next to the bounce house. Stumbling out from behind it a zombie dressed as a clown comes into view. Is there more than 1 of them?
(50/50) No.
"Oh I see it now, your talking about that fricken clown zombie." I say while pointing in his direction. Karen nods her head yes while still staring at the clown. "You don't like them much do you?" I ask her.
"I hate clowns." Karen mumbles as the clown hobbles back behind the bounce house. Turning to me she has a sad look on her face.
"Don't worry." I tell her with a smile. "We shouldn't have to go to the back yard for anything so I wouldn't worry about it."
"Promise?" She asks with big eyes starting right at me.
"Yeah I promise." I tell her, lifting her chin up with the side of my finger and smiling at her.
"Ok." She says cheerily well giving me a grin.
"I hope I can keep that promise." I think to myself as I turn back to the mansion inspecting the large iron fence surrounding the perimeter. "Now let's try and make it to the front gate without attracting any unwanted attention." I tell her. "Shall we." I say while bowing down slightly and holding my hand out in the direction of the front gate like a butler pointing a guest to their table.
Does she take my hand?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes, but...
Karen gives me a funny look and then smiles before taking my hand in hers and walking happily closer to the edge of the fence. "Dork." I hear her say without looking at me.
Once we reach the fence I let go of Karen's hand and we both look around the grounds to make sure there isn't anyone around. Is there?
(Somewhat Unlikely) Yes.
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
More than one?
(50/50) No.
Group of zombies.
As I peek inside the fence through the iron bars I spot a small group of zombies gathered by one of the outside windows of the mansion. But looking closer I realize it is actually just one zombie and I was mistaking his shadow on the side of the house for another.
Blood-soaked zombie.
He appears to just be normal looking guy but his clothes are drenched from head to toe in what looks to be blood. I don't know if it's his blood but I kind of doubt it. He must of been one of the party guests. Does he see us?
(Somewhat Unlikely) Yes, and...
Oh Crap he spotted us and is already making his way over here. I look over to warn Karen but she already has her crossbow drawn and is aiming at the gore soaked fuckers face.
(Somewhat Likely) Yes, but...
She gets him right in the face knocking him over backwards and killing him dead on the spot. I turn to give Karen a high five but she is already looking at something else down the fence line a ways.
I turn to see what she is looking at. Is it another zombie?
(Somewhat Unlikely) No.
A person?
(Unlikely) No.
Something going on inside the mansion?
(50/50) Yes, and...
Does it involve zombies?
(Likely) Yes, and...
Lots of zombies?
(Somewhat Likely) Yes.
As I turn around I spot what Karen is looking at. It appears to be some kind of kilt and it is hanging from the top of one of the spikes on the fence. As we sneak close I also see some bloody chunks of meat dangling from the spikes and what looks like a wooden wizards staff lying in the grass on the other side of the fence.
"Oh shit.." I say while inspecting the obvious signs of Renfest zombie activity.
"That looks like the stuff those things were wearing when they walked by us..." Karen begins to say before turning to me as she realizes what this means.
"Yep and I am willing to bet that they are now inside the mansion grounds somewhere." I tell her with a worried look. "We are going to have to be extra careful now so that we don't run into any of them." I say as we continue our way down the fence line reaching the corner facing the road. Is that zombie I seen when I first entered town still in front of the gate?
(50/50) Yes, but...
There are more of them now?
(50/50) No.
Is he dead dead?
(Somewhat Likely) No, but...
(50/50) No, but...
Like super dead?
(50/50) Yes, but...
There are other dead zombies with him?
(Somewhat Likely) No.
Dead people?
(50/50) No, but...
A fricken animal?
(Somewhat Likely) No, and...
I'm fucking hallucinating again aren't I?
(50/50) Yes.
As I look around the corner my mouth drops open at the sight of the sergeant in drag along with the fat piss stained zombie that wacked me across the face the other day and they are right in the middle of what looks to be a photoshoot of some kind!
The Sarge is currently in high heels with fishnet leggings a corset and a blonde wig wearing bright red lipstick and making different poses for the disgusting fuck that is standing a few feet away snapping pictures and giving guidance!
"Oh My God!" I start to yell before Karen smacks me across the face waking me up from my stomach-churning delusion.
"Ow! That really hurt you know." I say rubbing my cheek and looking at Karen who is standing in front of me with a worried look on her face.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to smack you that hard but you had a really scary look on your face and you were rambling on about that cross dressing sergeant again." She says well reaching up and pulling my hand away to look at what I can only guess is a swelled up red mark the shape of Karen's hand.
"Yeah I think I was hallucinating again." I tell her as I shake my head from side to side while blinking rapidly. "That revolting freak haunts my waking dreams."
Karen gives me a sympathetic look before I turn back around blinking a few more times to make sure I am seeing correctly as I glance around the corner again. Anything that actually exists in real life over there?
(Somewhat Unlikely) No, but...
"But nothing! I see absolutely nothing!." I say aloud as I turn back around to Karen who is giving me a very strange look.
"But what?" She asks.
I get the strange feeling that my every action is being controlled by some asshole rolling dice somewhere before shaking my head dismissing the thought as ludicrous.
"It's nothing." I say turning back around and pulling out the map so I can make sure I got it down before taking a step out into the street. "Lets go make sure this key works." I tell her as we walk towards the front gate.
Mansion Map: Ground Floor                                                                                             Lower Level

[Image: MANSION%20MAP.jpg][img=100x100]<a href=[/img]
[img]<a href=[/img][Image: TOWN%20MAP.jpg]Town Map

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